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nothing to do

I went to bed at 1.30am. I didn't fall asleep till 6am then woke up at noon. . . .
wtf. I can't believe I couldn't sleep for about six hours. WHY DO I ALWAYS HAVE SLEEPING ISSUES.

wow

Created on 2000-09-23 00:36:08 (#16536), last updated 2010-09-26

2,000 comments received, 2,575 comments posted

wow, I've had this lj for TEN YEARS. thats a really long time. I hardly update though....

hate lj

I hate lj.
I'm starting to feel really homicidal again.

time to post

so during my absence from lj i got a job at immigraton, which was on a contract so i'll be unemployed by the end of this month.

in other news, i'm going to canada in august, then to usa. i need to plan this properly i think............

i'm pretty lost still. seems i'm always lost. need to find things to do. life still sucks in general.

i think i need a book to read.

man, what a useless post.

Sep. 18th, 2008

do people still use this thing?
is anyone reading this?

May. 14th, 2007

everytime i need to do something really important, i end up doing anything except that one important thing i need to do.
insomnia.
what can i do about it?
:O
i've been SOCIAL lately. which should really be a good thing.
i went drinking on tuesday. we drove to the beach. bev dragged me into the MENS BATHROOM. for the second time -_- geez, she gets tipsy easily. it was pretty funny though >_>

both times i've tried to go to uni to do work i ended up doing other stuff >_>
yesterday i went to hand in assignment, which i did. then i went shopping and bought boots with two friends. >___>
today i went to uni to study and ended up just hanging out with other friends and we ended up watching a movie >__>
we saw sunshine... i think thats what it was called....it was ok. movie turned WEIRD around the end. totally random stuff started happening.
I NEED TO STUDY!

i have a terrible headache -_-

Apr. 1st, 2007

i'm getting sick. either its a cold or some sort of icky allergy.
fuck i hate being sick. i have the immune system of a rock. i've finished one of my assignments. i'm not going to bed until i've done at least half of my essay. 1250 words. ick. on the bright side. only four days to go before holidays. i'm actually worring about something i don't want to think about, or it'll depress me and i won't have the energy to do my stupid work. its fucking stupid but if i get pissed off at something or upset over something it pretty much shuts me down. but isn't that just an excuse not to do stuff? probably. i have no excuses.
this is officially my worst day of uni ever.
i lost my usb drive early this morning SOMEWHERE on campus. it was the only place i had my essays and assignments on it. ( I KNOW PEOPLE. I JUST BACK IT UP SOMEWHERE ELSE). . . .
i also had no money all day cause i forgot my eftpos card. and it was raining since the night before. i was wet and cold and never did find my usb thing -_- i managed to get a few days extensions on two of the things i had due tomorrow and monday. the other one i just couldn't track down the course coordinator so i'm pretty much fucked.
what am i saying, i'm fucked anyway. i have to start from scratch. .............. blah.
you know whats funny though. i don't feel as stressed out about this as you'd think. not as stressed as i was.... a while ago anyway -__-
at least i'm fully intact.

Mar. 26th, 2007

question:

does it make you a coward if you kill yourself?

edit: i'm curious, not suicidal.
can you miss something you never had to begin with?

Dec. 6th, 2006

how can i look like i've gotten FATTER. but infact i have lost weight? because i thoguht i had gained weight i looked at the scale and i have lost a few kgs? i'm about 46-47kg now.. whats with that? i dont think i'm being paranoid by thinking i look like i've gotten fatter, its not just a girl thing... well. whatever..
so i have holiday now, summer holiday till the end of feb. i really dont have much to do but i'm looking for a job -_-
i went out last saturday for a friends bday. we went to two clubs and my friend made me wear her high heel boots cause i had no other shoes. i was better off going without any shoes cause the boots really killed my feet. my legs hurt now too -_- we were dancing for five hours (and i dont/cant dance -_-) . well, i had fun. bev is making me go out again on thursday but i just dont wanna go -___- i've got some stuff to do this week. god i hate christmas. i want a new game but i cant afford it, i bought kingdom hearts 2 and finished it in a few days. and its not even a game i want to play again right now. i liked the first one better. the ending was too sad for my tastes. i also saw pirates of the caribbean 2, that ending sucked too.
i had jury duty today, but luckly i didn't have to stay, i was so glad i could leave early, if i would have had to stay it was a 5 day trial about some weirdo importing drugs. hmmm... i need to do stuff.
i'm really lazy with updating here. its .. a bit annoying to update on here...
i've been lazy with my lj again, sort of cant be bothered updating. but maybe i will more soon. in a week my exams will be over and i'll be on summer holidays. all the way till march i'll have free time, even though i'll look for a job i'll still have lots of free time. time to be a geek and play games and read manga and watch anime >_>
but besides that im gonna do lots more stuff in the holidays, i think i might keep track of it by posting on here whenever i do something NEW!
i posted a while ago earlier this year with suggestions for stuff i should do, and i'll read those again cause i didn't do them yet XD but i'm asking again.
WHAT THINGS SHOULD I DO IN MY HOLIDAY!? you can say whatever but try to suggest something REALISTC that i'd do too XD not just something like GO TO AUS AND SEX VINNIE. cause i know thats what you were gonna suggest sir. i can READ YOUR MIND!

Oct. 11th, 2006

happy birthday to me :o
i am 21 now.

Jul. 31st, 2006

i dont want to die. i dont really care about dying. but i dont want to live. so what do i do.
you know its weird but i feel like i have noone to talk to anymore :O i know i can talk to a lot of you who will read this and think 'what? she can talk to me whenever she likes' but .. its just a weird feeling >_> so much has changed with a lot of people, i guess stuffs changed with me too. just blah -__- i really can't talk to anyone anymore and its sad.
everyone list one thing i should do. anything at all.
O__O
well, my holidays are over. i passed all my classes last semester. i got three Bs anad one C+ i was fucking amazed i passed chem. o_o
i have three bio classes this semester and one psych class. each bio class has a three hour lab, it'll be BLAH. and for my animal bio class i have to disect things... i really dont mind it in general but we have to cut up WORMS and LOCUSTS. and thats just FUCKING EW. i dont even want to TOUCH those things. we have to cut up rats and fish too, those are ok but the worms...... ugh.. i dunno how i'm gonna manage that and my first lab for that is on wednesday... ugggghhhh thats just so EW. i am SO not looking forward to it. i dont mind learning about that stuff i could even handle watching someone else do it but i really dont wanna do it myself >_< AHHHH and i HAVE to do it... i cant miss my labs or i fail the class.
this semester is going to suck. wish i could do the genetics class instead. /me cries
and i woke up at 7am, something i haven't done in months, cause i have 9am classes now. feel like i haven't slept enough, i need to eat too. blah. -_-

Jul. 2nd, 2006

exams are over and so is all that stress. so, what should i do in my holidays? i feel the need to do something productive or it feels like i'm wasting time. and wasting time is something i do a lot of and i DONT WANNA DO IT ANYMORE. i dont know what im saying really, i never do anymore. but i need stuff to do. i bought resident evil 4 which is fun. i need more games. oh, i gotta B for one of my bio classes! one class i passed at least. i dunno about the other classes, the world is slow at marking, takes them two weeks. -_- school is really horrible. (dont say i shouldn't go if its that horrible.) >_>
SLEEPING PILLS.
I WANT SLEEPING PILLS GOD DAMNIT.
i was so looking forward to my chem exam being over, now i dunno when that'll be -_________- exam was postponed due to whole city not having power for hours -_____________-
i guess this gives me more time to study but i hate chem >_<
and i hardly slept yesterday. i hardly sleep at all these days -_-

Jun. 11th, 2006

1. Explain your journal screenname and its meaning.

its from an anime called vampire princess miyu, miyu being the main character obviously >_>
vampire princess was one of the first nicks i used on any form of chat :P and miyu sounds rather nice :O i had a mad obsession with vampires. i still sort of do...

2. When you're done, tag as many people as there are letters in your screenname

i dont usually do these things on my lj but i looked at some of the names on my friends list and some of them are WEIRD :O

ahohesensei, demonic_daria, malys, peeniewallie, setec_astronomy, zectorzero (half of these people don't really USE lj anymore so i dont really expect an answer >_____>)

and anyone else really :P

Jun. 11th, 2006

its exam time again -_- such a depressing few weeks. and STRESSFUL. i gotta chem exam tomorrow. i hope i dont FAIL. a C- would even do -_- thats the lowest possible pass >__> chem is my worst subject. my other exams will be much easier than this one. next semester is actually looking pretty bad too -_-
exams will be over on the 23rd. that will be HAPPY HAPPY DAY.
well, tomorrow is the last offical day of lectures for semester 1. its going to be good and bad. good cause i hate GOING TO SCHOOL. and bad because its that much closer to EXAMS which make me want to DIE IN ALL SORTS OF HORRIBLE WAYS. well i got exams between 12th-23rd -.- must study hard out all next week. i just find it so hard to study for BORING THINGS like which way the wind blows in antarctica and who went there first in what year with who on what boat from what country, LIKE I REALLY GIVE A FUCK. sadly i DO have to give a fuck to pass... well actually for that particular class i could get less than 50% in the exam and still pass >_>;

i'm worried about my sleeping cycle :P and my health in general. you know you hear in the media about what you're meant to eat and how much you should sleep to be healthy, you hear words like vitamins, things full of proteins, metabolism and i know what the media tells me but i never really knew WHAT those things were and what they DO in your body :P after cramming for my biochem and actually learning what stuff like glucose IS and what it DOES (glycolysis -> krebs -> ATP for those who've ever taken a bio class :P) i'm wondering how my body has been functioning at all the last 10 years o_o i eat at bad times, dont exercise enough, eat BAD THINGS, sleep at horribly random times. if i was a diabetic i would be DEAD in a few days the way i eat. O___O and since its apparently a genetic linked disease i might develop it at some stage >_> i just drank pepsi and i'm about to go to sleep. aren't i stupid? :O
and hey, its only 3am. this is early for me -__- probably going to lie awake till 6am -________________-

you know what i love? music. i would die without it. it actually makes me HAPPY to just listen to music. i can pass time so easily by listening to music. can just lie in bed for hours doing nothing but listening to good music. seems like a bit of a waste of time but still :P

maybe after my exams i can try to ... be more healthy XD i cant afford to waste time with my health right now >_> but i can waste time listening to music. well, i study and listen to music at the same time, it sucks sometimes so i'll just listen to lyricless songs while reading stuff >_>

don't i fucking babble?
hate.
ok, some random things.
i've been totally wasting my holidays. should be STUDYING but i'm NOT. doing ANYTHING BUT studying. -_- a little sad >_____>
but i will study more now. what i have been doing is playing kingdom hearts chain of memories, which i haven't finished yet XD;; at the last boss at least >__> kingdom hearts 2 wont be out till june here -.- but at least i'll have holidays again then.
what else.... oh! i went DRIVING today. for about 2 hours. my driving is probably alright but i think its ... eh... i dont LIKE driving -_- but i guess i have to, and i want my license -__-
i saw doom today. movie was ok. a bit blah. was that even the story in the game? i never knew the story in the game even though i played it lots o_O you just killed bad guys on what seemed like another planet. games like that and quake though you dont really NEED to know the story :p i still have yet to play doom 3, and everyone says its really good.... maybe my next holidays? >_>

ok, i said before that me and nicky made a chan #shrine on dalnet. now, me and nicky have tried making chans in the past, and they were all good chans ... while they lasted. chans seem to fall apart like that, the old ones would die if me and nicky would stop talking :p but this time, not only is there a lot of people in chan but EVERYONE TALKS. everyone talks A LOT. people babble O___O its absurd how much talking there is in chan. and everyone in chan is cool too! no annoying people.
so like JOIN #SHRINE. don't just read this and ignore it >__> /me pokes people like tsuki and raist and jason and lys and ben and ......... some other people XD

also I MADE A NEW LAYOUT. LOOK AT IT HEREEEEE
if theres something WRONG with it then tell me cause i suck and have no idea wtf i'm doing when i'm making layouts >_____>
hmm this was a babbly post :o
not sleeping enough. FEELING BLAH.
WANT TO EXPLODE. BLAHHHHHHHHHHLLHALFHEALEL


seopighs'ieg'sneg 'psgins
g

sfjise
FUCK>>>>>>
need to die -___-

Apr. 6th, 2006

howls moving castle is such a cute movie! spirited away was too. i wanna see more animes like those XD
EVERYONE SHOULD SEE THEM.
hello :O
me and nicky have remade #shrine on dalnet. so JOIN IT! ^___^
a lot of you on my friends list used to come there way back in the day, and some of you came to #weird ... and other chans of mine and nickys. so JOIN :O if you happen to come to dalnet that is :P
haven't made a proper update in ages.

but nothing is new really -_- school goes as normal. chem test tomorrow that i've been studying for (mostly only this weekend). school is blah. requires much study >_<
weather is getting all shit now, winter is just around the corner. its gonna be ick. all this rain. not that i really mind rain. but its ick when its cold or when its raining and i'm at school and waiting for bus or have to get to a class on THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD, or it seems that way by how far away some of my classes are on campus and its rainy and crowded and ick.

bleh.

i have new anime to watch! full metal panic. its great :o wish it didn't take me SO FUCKING LONG to dl one ep -_-

why is the news so depressing? everytime i watch it there are millions of people dying all over the place. its ... quite horrible.

Mar. 31st, 2006

Feb. 3rd, 2006

Jan. 25th, 2006

i dont know what to do -_-
i can't stand going to school. working would suck to. i'm whining about the same things again and again aren't i? very little changes.
i have exams in three weeks. if i fail i think i'm just going to kill myself.
heh


HEH.


damnit, i really need money.

Jan. 18th, 2006

look, two entries in one week, how UNUSUAL :O
its only cause i got all this spare time at school, even though i should be using it to study.. which i will do soon XD
i'm looking for a job. and i'm really unhealthy. i go to bed late and can't wake up early enough in the morning, when i do its like i haven't slept enough and feel tired all day. how can i fix this? besides going to bed earlier :P that doesn't always help but i'm trying to sleep earlier.
i just dont wanna be so tired. if i get job i'll be way more tired and i'll end up studying less i think.
i wish i just had lots of money >_<
funny people are awesome, i love funny people.
i love you all too. lots of lj <3 for all of you!
i need to get me a life >_>

Jan. 16th, 2006

ah, i'm updating from school. i feel bad for neglecting my lj.
i'm cold >_< its been so hot lately and today is cold. and this room has air conditioners too >_<
school is blah. too much work involved x___x i gotta test next week i gotta study lots for x___X i am coping with school though, it hasn't killed me yet, this is probably because i only have two classes. semester one i'll have 4 classes and it'll suck more >_< i also have no income right now... so it sucks more. if i got a job while having school it would drain me a lot x_____x but i really want to get a job cause i need money and i still need to get my license >_< noone is teaching me to drive, my mum never takes me and dad is always too busy and so i can't take the test for it cause i still suck at driving, and it would be a waste of money if i took test now -_______- having school gives me something to do so time seems to go by faster, but at the same time time goes a lot slower >_< the days go faster but the weeks seem slower. and i never get enough sleep these days.

i found a mouse in my room and it FREAKED ME OUT. and i ended up staying awake for ages after that with my lights on. it was horrible. i haven't done anything fun in the longest time. i hate how useless i am. and i mean that in a few different ways -_-
what a silly post o_o

and hello to those who keep up with lj who i haven't seen online >_>

Dec. 26th, 2005

this has been the most useless year of my life. it might as well not have happened. i could just die and not regret it. meaningless existence. i dont even feel like dying. i dont feel anything o__________o
i will just go to sleep. and wake up and pretend that everything is fine again.

Nov. 30th, 2005

[10:02:09] molly`millions> you shouldnt stab people...its mean

why would someone say this to me? to ME? :OOOOOOO
it was funny :P
been a while since i posted a drawing so here we are. its mugen from samurai champloo XD must see anime!
picpicCollapse )

Nov. 22nd, 2005

meep.
i need stuff to do. what should i do?
i'm going to fucking kill someone >_<
i'm just so pissed off. FUCK FUCK FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
/me STABS.

dont ask why. because you wont get an answer.
BLAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhh fucking blah
going to fiji for 5 weeks :O
BAI EVERYONE!
<3333

new stuffs

new layout for recent and friends pages and new icons! :D
they need slight fixing but i'm too lazy to do it right now -_- for a first attempt at layouts its not so bad really is it?
so like, how do i make a mood theme?

BLAHSEx

i am sick.
i have exams tomorrow and day after. i'm going to die :D
life is shitty. and i can't talk to nicky. BLAHHHHHH.
i don't think i'll be going back to school next semester.
i'm hungry..... i feel like eating chicken ;_;
or just something nice and warm.
i feel dead.
i'm alive. barley ;_____;
i want yaoi ;_; and i want bleach and death note ;____;
i also want someone to talk to.
/me smashes things
tychon comment with your email please, or if tychon ISNT READING THIS then nicky get his email for me.
i want a job badly
somebody employ me :<
i have a terrible headache.
been a long time since i updated >_>
i feel a little babbly now though.
lifes been crap with no power/internet. i recovered from that fast enough though. i think the key to passing my classes is studying >_> so i've been studying a lot lately. i still manage to get behind though. the key to easy studying is to not get behind on school work too -_- i had to catch up on stats cause i enrolled late though, so that was unavoidable and i've almost caught up with it... jap is harder this year than last year -.- but jap is still fun. biosci is quite easy cause a lot of the stuff i've done before. biology <3 school isn't too bad. but i really need to... study more >_> if i feel like i'm not behind in any classes i stress less -_- feels like i'm always one class behind >_< and i'm looking for a job too so i'll have less study time with a job. but i REAAALLLYYYY need the money. and i should be able to get a fairly decent job with having done that bar school course. it was fun. i can make lots of cocktails and do lots of stuff in a bar XD and i know lots about alcohol now :O even though i don't drink it >_>
if i work nights it might kill me though x_x
i need to wake up earlier. . . so i can get to school on time >_<
damnit -.- its hard to look for a job with everything else i have to do >_< life is busy all of a sudden.
i don't like busy >_